Monday, August 17, 2009

How to Mondays: Levitate like Criss Angel

Found this short video and completely amazed by it. I must have watched it 5 times!

Watch this video in a new windowCriss Angel's Magic Tricks Revealed - Part 1

sidenote: I am a self-admitted asshole.

Friday, August 14, 2009

My eye sucks at life

The past 2-3 three days I keep finding ways of pissing my eye off. My eyeball ying and yang is way off kilt at this point. I can't think of the last nice thing I did for my eyes. I mean outside ofcourse of daily dosage of looking at redtube, and various other websites filled with c'est tits.

At some point earlier this week I managed to get orange juice under my eyelid. Don't ask about the physics behind it, just know that it sucked. Citric acid, and cornea are two things that are not meant to go together. The only other pain-inducing odd couple I can think of at the moment would be a rottweilers mouth and your crotch. Yea- it sucked THAT much.

The only way to get back my eye karma points would be to view something majestic. Like margaret thatcher scissor fucking barbara bush, bareback on a unicorn. Or something equally visually awesome. For now, I will settle for being a Peeing-Tom outside of my neighbors window sill.

No, that wasn't a typo. Peeing Tom, as opposed to peeping tom. Is when you mark your pervert-territory by peeing where you watch. This has its obvious downsides, mostly having to stand where you peed. The ups: ENDLESS.