Wednesday, July 8, 2009

I'm A McFurry

When was the last time you woke up questioning yourself? Well, both my appetite for food, and possibly furry-on-male action came into question just a few short hours ago. Let me walk you through this:

I just had a daydream in which...in normal afternoon fashion I was sitting on my couch when all of a sudden I heard a Jehovahs Witness type-knock on my door. I slowly detached myself from the couch and looked through the peephole. It was blocked by a seeminly purple haze. When I opened the door I was amazed to find our nations fearless leader Barack Obama and McDonald's anthropomorphic purple-being Grimace anxiously awaiting with a gigantic Happy meal in hand, chanting "burger bail out time baby!"

I can tell you one thing; it was kind of a weird situation at first. You see... I sleep in the nude, so when I opened the door MY nuggets were completely exposed. Barack totally played it cool, however I did catch Grimace staring at my junk more than once. I understand hes giant burger eating eunuch and probably does not run into giant testicles in his field of work.

so yea, back to the story...there I was, with my nuggets out. Grimace doing a C&C Music Factory like happy dance, while Obama kept repeatedly asking me if i had a lufa available. I'm really not sure why, also didn't probe further about it.

I ended up waking up semi spooning my pillow. This is where the questioning myself part comes into play. I am not sure if that was Grimace or Obama I was spooning prior to waking up. #HETEROFAIL

furthermore, if I spooned Grimace in my dream? does that imply I love burgers? or does that somehow make me a furry? At this point I think a little bit of both.

you can thank @Carin_J for coining the term "McFurry" in relation to my...situation.

fuck...my...life

1 comment:

tifferny said...

not a #heterofail. bi-curious perhaps? at a minimum...furry-curious? you seriously have to stop eating mcdonalds darling. it's giving you hallucinations. ;) xo ~t