I will add more as I remember them...ha
Random God-related things I "tweet":
Shower Curtains: proof that god doesn't want you to sit on a wet toilet seat.
Vacuum Cleaners: proof that god loves for things to be sucked clean.
Pubic Hair: Gods organic dental floss
Unprotected Wifi: proof that god approves of stealing internet, to view pornography.
Massage Parlors: proof that god loves happy endings.
Unlimited Minutes Phone Plans: proof that god loves phone sex.
Camera Phones: Proof that god loves titi pictures
BabyWipes: Proof that god approves of masturbating at work
I was writing a "tornados: proof that god sucks sometimes" when I heard something hit the window. I get it big guy, you rock.
V-Necks: proof that god loves cleavage.
Jenga: proof that god approves of everyone playing with wood.
Hemroids: Gods way of telling you to get off your ass.
Alcohol: proof that god approves of semi-consentual sex.
Morning After pill: proof that god is against pulling out.
Proof that satan is mexican: You're going to Hell (yea - its a silent H)
Single Ply Toilet Paper: Proof that god approves of sodomy.
Kidney Stones: Gods way of telling you to kick rocks.
Free lunch at stripclubs: Proof that god loves cajun shrimp and big boobs
Humidity: Proof that god loves musky privates.
Chinese People: Proof that god hates cats
5 comments:
This list will now be printed and posted on my wall. You are my new AMERICAN IDOL--screw Kelly Clarkson!
omg wow.. this is an amazing list..also one of the funniest blogs I've ever read.. though i'm sure God approves a few more things for women then he does for men...
Rich Men/Athletes/Bankers: Proof God loves women more.
omg wow.. this is an amazing list..also one of the funniest blogs I've ever read.. though i'm sure God approves a few more things for women then he does for men...
Rich Men/Athletes/Bankers: Proof God loves women more.
well, ain't that just the funniest thing i've read all day...
but i'ma have to agree with J Sekhon (: x
omfg sheer hilarity..
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