Friday, July 17, 2009

Approved by God

I will add more as I remember them...ha

Random God-related things I "tweet":

Shower Curtains: proof that god doesn't want you to sit on a wet toilet seat.

Vacuum Cleaners: proof that god loves for things to be sucked clean.

Pubic Hair: Gods organic dental floss

Unprotected Wifi: proof that god approves of stealing internet, to view pornography.

Massage Parlors: proof that god loves happy endings.

Unlimited Minutes Phone Plans: proof that god loves phone sex.

Camera Phones: Proof that god loves titi pictures

BabyWipes: Proof that god approves of masturbating at work

I was writing a "tornados: proof that god sucks sometimes" when I heard something hit the window. I get it big guy, you rock.

V-Necks: proof that god loves cleavage.

Jenga: proof that god approves of everyone playing with wood.

Hemroids: Gods way of telling you to get off your ass.

Alcohol: proof that god approves of semi-consentual sex.

Morning After pill: proof that god is against pulling out.

Proof that satan is mexican: You're going to Hell (yea - its a silent H)

Single Ply Toilet Paper: Proof that god approves of sodomy.

Kidney Stones: Gods way of telling you to kick rocks.

Free lunch at stripclubs: Proof that god loves cajun shrimp and big boobs

Humidity: Proof that god loves musky privates.

Chinese People: Proof that god hates cats

5 comments:

Nandoism™ said...

This list will now be printed and posted on my wall. You are my new AMERICAN IDOL--screw Kelly Clarkson!

J Sekhon said...

omg wow.. this is an amazing list..also one of the funniest blogs I've ever read.. though i'm sure God approves a few more things for women then he does for men...

Rich Men/Athletes/Bankers: Proof God loves women more.

J Sekhon said...

omg wow.. this is an amazing list..also one of the funniest blogs I've ever read.. though i'm sure God approves a few more things for women then he does for men...

Rich Men/Athletes/Bankers: Proof God loves women more.

farai♥ said...

well, ain't that just the funniest thing i've read all day...
but i'ma have to agree with J Sekhon (: x

Darling_Nikki said...

omfg sheer hilarity..