Friday, May 29, 2009

public bathroom etiquette

Ah yes! The last friday of the month... what will catch my wrath? people that talk on their cell phones in a public bathroom? let's add more to it... with their pants around their ankles. on the crapper. SERIOUSLY. I was taking a leak in the restaurant, and i heard a muffled voice to my right. Mind you, per bathroom ettiquette, i made no investigation if the crappers where occupied. all I had to do was piss, and there was an open urinal, so anything that went on in a sit down area was none of my business...thusly, i was unaware that someone occupied the stall right next to the urinal i occupied. ..word back to the muffled voices. i assume that the guy has taken off his headphones or has them really loud so i am just catching that. i finish my business, shake no more than three times, and go wash my hands, OCD style. so word after i turn off the water and reach for the towel... i hear dude in stall talking, and realize whats going on. he is taking a shit and talking on the phone. PAUSE...first off, taking a shit is a private time and should not be disturbed under any circumstances. it is a time of personal reflection. i have solved pretty much every dilemma in my life in the fortress of solitude that is taking a dump. secondly, if one is forced to take a dump in a public bathroom, there is no way that any contact with the outside world should be made, save a grunt to ward off any turdburglars try to break into your stall - which has happened to me on occassion.(yet another story for another time)

so word.. this guy broke all international taking a dump treaties. he flaunted this by talking on his phone... and having the volume on his phone so loud that i could hear it while I took a piss SEVERAL feet away. and what of whoever he was talking to? If i could hear what they were saying, could they here the plop of his work? could they here my manly steady stream? NOT COOL... why would you continue talking to someone who was at work in the bathroom? i certainly would want nothing to do with that. at all. I would rather talk to someone in the throws of sex (a la Paris Hilton, who evidently answers her phone mid coitus…i mean uh.. thats what i hear, cus uh i have never seen her video. or any porn at all. ever.... today).

maybe cellphones and cordless phones have gone too far. if you called someone 20 years ago, there is no way you would have to concern yourself with the potential of talking to them with there trousers around there ankles while they squeeze out the carne asada burrito they ate 20 minutes ago...word ..because no jackass would put a phone in their bathroom. except that jackass in the Bond movie. but he was evil. really evil.

its just common courtesy. word.


Andrew said...

Dude - it's just Voice over IP. LOL

R. Swinehart said...

Good stuff! Judging your interest in public restrooms, I think you might be interested in my latest blog post.